The Terrible Tragedy
by CrankThatFrerard
Summary: ASOUE Quagmire story
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

I advise you to put down the book you are reading and do something productive, or better yet, throw it out of a hot balloon. This book tells the story of the Quagmire Triplets unfortunate stay in the Self Sustaining Hot Air Balloon with Hector. Duncan was looking out the window, thinking about the recent reuniting with the Baudelaire orphans. The five orphans met at a terrible boarding school where they soon became insepertable, a phrase which here means, very close friends that would disguise themselves to run for Count Olaf. And speaking of Count Olaf, did I mention that the Quagmires and the Baudelairs were being hunted down by a violent criminal named Count Olaf? No? Well, they were. Even though they were, Count Olaf wasn't the threat. I am very tempted to tell you who they were, but I have to write down the whole story. My Typewriter is running out of ink, so I have to end now, but that doesn't stop you from dropping this book out of a hot air balloon and reading a happier book.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Before I start this dismal story, I must warn you. Please, do not read this for entertainment. It is an unfortunate book full of twists and turns to make you weep into your pillow. "Do you think Violet, Klaus, and Sunny ecscaped from V.F.D?" Duncan asked his sister, Isodora. "I don't know, but I hope they did." she said. Suddenly, Hector popped out of the kitchen. "Dinner's ready!" he said. They walked into the kitchen and saw a few helpings of salad and three drumsticks. "That looks great!" Isodora exclaimed. The two orphans hadn't had a good meal in a long time. Hector was an amazing cook, and today was no different. "This is amazing!" Duncan said. Isodora looked out the window and saw somthing weird. A couplet. "What's that?" she asked. She went to the piece of paper. Written on it was a simple couplet.

 _V.F.D is near here,_

 _That is why you should face your fear._

"I didn't write that!" Isodora said. "Then who did?" Duncan asked with a worried face. "I did." said a voice no one recognized.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Whenever something terrible happens, you usually do not enjoy it. That is exactly what happened with Duncan, Isodora, and Hector. The two terrified orphans and their savior turned around to see Jacques, the thought dead vollunteer of V.F.D, behind them. "Jacques, your alive!" yelled Duncan."Yes, but-" Jacques didn't get to finish because of a loud gunshot. All four of them turned to the window where they saw another Self Sustaining Hot Air Balloon. "What's that?" yelled Duncan. "Those are the people on the other end of the schism." Jacques said. "What's a schism?" asked Isodora. "The short definition is an argument." said Jacques. "Wait, is that you Hector?" asked Jacques. "Yes," Hector said. He reaveled an eye tatoo on his ankle."Kids, I'm a part of V.F.D."


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

As I am sure you know, the Quagmires were very surprised that Hector, the Quagmires brave but clueless friend, was a part of V.F.D, or, Vollunteer Fire Department. Me, Lemony Snicket, am proud to say I was on the same side of the schism as Hector, and my brother, Jacques Snicket. I am not proud to say, however, that thier celebration did not last long. "I haven't seen you since the schism, Hector!" Jacques said with a smile. "How's your brother?" Hector asked. Jacques's smile faded. "I don't want to talk about it." he said. "BOOM! CRASH!" More gunshots came from outside. "What are we gonna-" Hector didn't get to finish because of a gunshot. "Hector!" screamed Jacques, Duncan, and Isodora. The only thing I am happy to say was that the shot wasn't fatal, but it did hurt."It's only my leg." Hector said, and he was surprisingly calm about it. More gunshots came and the four friends hid under the table."Duncan, Isodora, I have some good news. Quigly is alive." Jacques said.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

The two siblings looked at Jacques with one or two tears flowing down their face's. They were happy but had a quiet feeling that Jacques was just trying to cheer them up."Is it true?" Duncan asked with a worried expression. "Yes," Jacues said "he's alive." The Balloon suddenly shook. "What was that?" Hector asked. The answer makes even me shiver. "We're hit!" exclaimed Jacques. The wind was picking up. I feel a great deal of sadness for what happens next, and I advise you to put down the book before you read it. Jacques slid and fell out of the balloon. "Jacques!" yelled Hector, Duncan, and Isodora. As the balloon fell, the three sad friends knew exactly where they were going to, V.F.D.


End file.
